An Interview with A Ghost Story Director David Lowery

The movie I was most excited to see last year was David Lowery’s highly acclaimed little indie film A GHOST STORY. The problem is that highly acclaimed indie films tend to arrive in Calgary months after everyone else gets them.

Then one Friday evening in early summer I got an email from my editor at Mockingbird. “We’ve been given access to a screener for A GHOST STORY and the option to interview the director. Would you be interested?”

I watched the movie. I watched endless interviews of David. I reached out to writer friends for advice. I wrote scores of questions and ran them past my editor. Then I had 20 minutes on the phone with David and it went really well. It was an open dialogue about the issues that challenge both of us. I’m rather proud of the result and I hope you head over to Mockingbird to read the full thing.

I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore

It was Makoto Fujumara who first introduced me to Jeffrey Overstreet way back in 2011. Jeff has been an influence in my life ever since.

Throughout the summer, he helped me refine what was a tough piece to write, and he has now published the finished review on his site.

I Don't Feel at Home in this World Anymore is still one of my favourite films of 2017, and since it's a Netflix exclusive most of you can check it out today. Go read my review and be sure to follow Jeffrey's work.

http://www.lookingcloser.org/blog/2017/09/04/not-so-beautiful-day-in-the-neighborhood/ 

The BFG, The 13th, and Tramps Capsule Reviews

I regularly contribute to Reel World Theology's Streaming Weekly column, where I offer paragraph length reviews of some of my favourite films available on streaming services. I really enjoy the craft of writing one paragraph reviews, so I thought I would include a few of these here. Head over to Reel World Theology to see the latest entires in this column. Then go watch these great movies!

The BFG

Steven Spielberg spent decades trying to make a movie out of Roald Dahl’s classic story, but when his dream was finally realized last summer the result was shrugged off by critics and largely ignored by audiences. That was to everyone’s shame because The BFG is a gem of a film. It is filled with lovingly crafted details, is gorgeous to look at, and features a simple story focused on a beautiful relationship. That friendship, between the vivacious orphan Sophie (a terrific Ruby Barnhill) and the massive giant (played by Academy Award winner Mark Rylance), is the sustaining thread of the movie and it is a friendship of trust, care, joy, and fear. Mark Rylance is astonishing as the giant. His face is the heart of the film, expressing years of kindness, open-hearted life, loneliness, and loss. Stream this film on the largest screen you can find and, if you have kids, gather them around you. Family films of this caliber are as rare as a friendly giant.

The 13th

In between 2014’s stunning Selma and next year’s highly anticipated A Wrinkle In Time, Ava DuVernay partnered with Netflix to make this paradigm-shifting documentary. 13th is an unflinching look at the devastating impact of the prison system in the African American community. If you’re like me, you will be struggling with the world of heartache and grief that this film opens up, and reckoning with its new narrative that pushes against the story of the 20th century I grew up believing.  The story of our history has consistently been a story told by the white hierarchy. In this film, we get to see that story reframed and retold by an educated and passionate black woman. Do you disagree? Fine, but in order to truly disagree you need to first listen. This documentary forces such listening by highlighting the dignity of being able to tell your own narrative and by recognizing the humanity of the people who are affected by the system. Little wonder it was nominated for an Academy Award.

Tramps 

Netflix is being criticized for its new habit of buying celebrated festival films and then burying these titles amongst its vast library. Seeking out these hidden gems gives us the chance to catch some of the best indie films of the year. One of these Netflix exclusives well worth your time is Tramps, a sure-footed crime caper that’s got heart. When the awkwardly affable Danny fumbles a shady package drop, he gets stuck in greater New York City for two days and a night with the hardened Ellie. As they desperately try to repair the mistake, their understanding and affections for each other begin to unfold. The film’s 82 minutes move nimbly and with confidence, like a welcomed summer breeze on a hot subway platform. The story regularly surprises (except for the predictable final 15 minutes), and the acting is endearing and memorable. The focus on the value of genuine human connection and its portrayal of modern New York makes this a delightful movie worth enjoying.

The Pursuit of Gorgeous Cardboard: A Conversation with John Charles Meyer of Dave Made a Maze

This interview is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.

Dave Made a Maze is your average story of a frustrated creative who builds a giant maze in his leaving room that comes alive and takes on a life of it's own. If you watch it, you'll be blown away by perhaps the more truly inventive set design we've see in a long time. To learn more about the production of the film, I spoke on the phone with the film's producer, John Charles Meyer. He had plenty of stories to share.

The project required a lot of cardboard.

Initially they were asking their friends to save scraps, which were "grease stained and folded in weird ways." So when they found a donor who gave them "an entire 14 foot box truck full to the ceiling of uniform cardboard that was going to be discarded," John was thrilled. This cardboard was "gorgeous stuff" and "we thought there was no way in hell we were going to need more than that." But a mere three weeks into production, the art director confronted John. They had run out of cardboard. So John started knocking on neighbourhood doors. "Right next door to where we were shooting [was] Eon Musk's company Solar City. I stuck my head in and said... "I'm shooting a movie next door and we need cardboard. Any chance that you throw out large quantities of cardboard?" They showed John a massive dumpster out back filled with nothing but cardboard for recycling and told him we was welcome to it any day. "For the rest of the production, every single day of mine started with me dumpster diving at Solar City for additional cardboard for my art department."

An unusual cardboard donation inspired one of their most beautiful scenes.

The script described the rooms in detail. From there, the art department "put together a production bible of sketches, filled with images of each room and the different ways that light might enter each room." But one day they received a large stack of cardboard sheets perforated with holes. "Originally we looked at it and thought, "What the hell are we going to use cardboard with holes for?" You can't make walls out of it and you can see through it." But that limitation inspired them to create a beautifully lit hexagonal corridor, which "we affectionately refer to as the Kubrick Corridor. It's really one of the most gorgeous shots in the film and is used in a lot of the publicity."

The vision was always to create something with a hand-built, tactical feel.

The film's director, Bill Watterson, has said that they wanted a "team of artists whose hands would be apparent through the process." As John describe it, "this is a story about a guy creating things with his hands. So trying to make the movie any other way - using CGI and VFX - would not only be wrong, but an insult to the intelligence of the audience." As a result, the film relies on stop-motion photography, puppets, optical illusions, and a fully working zoetrope. What's a zoetrope? They are Victorian-area mechanical barrels with slits that would be spun to create the effect of animation. Two of these were required for the movie's climatic scene, but since they had no idea how to make they kept putting it off. The deadline arrived when they were accepted into their first film festival. "Well, we thought, now it's time to figure it out so we can finish the movie." The final product "worked very well, but what I loved about it was that, just like the rest of the film, it was very handmade looking and a little bit wobbly."

The movie's 26 sets were in constant rotation.

Typical indie productions don't require much set up or take down. But a story of a giant cardboard maze required 26 unique sets. Only they just had space enough for two to be assembled at one time. "The art department would be working on one set in half of the room, while the camera team would be shooting on a different set in another half of the room. The instant the camera team finished on one set, the two teams would switch sides." The finished set would be torn down "and all manner of hammers, saws, and glue guns" would be at work again. Throughout the entire shoot, John was trying to keep the art department ahead of the camera's schedule. "It caused me a lot of grey hairs."

John Charles Meyer on set 

This film was a passion project that took 6 years to make.

The first three years were mostly spent trying to scrape enough money together, and then going back to investors, "hat in hand," begging for an extension. "When your first investor's money landed in the production's bank account four years before the film was shot, that says something. Not only [about] the faith of those investors, but also the hand-wringing amongst our team over whether or not we were ever going to pull this off." But John and his team pushed through. He took on such an extreme project because, "I didn't want to be bored out of my mind by whatever movie I took on." Despite all of the paper cuts and frustration, six years in John is still enjoying himself. "I love this story and I love what we've made it into. What kept me going was the fact that this was a unique, weird, fun project unlike anything else I had ever seen. I knew that if we pulled it off, it would be something special."

The film's story of frustrated creativity resulted in lots of participation.

John credits much of the film's success to a unique script so different from every other independent film. "We could have made a $40,000, three apartment, relationship triangle film and it would have taken two years." But the creative screenplay attracted other creative people. "A lot of artists who worked on this film did so for a 3rd, a 4th, or even a 10th of what they would have normally been paid. But there was a real sense of excitement on the set." Artists were happy to be there. As news of this story spread and others demanded to be involved, they gathered enough talent to complete the job. "This film is one giant metaphor for the creative process and the failures you have to overcome again and again." The cast and crew of Dave Made a Maze persevered. In the story their film tells, "the artist is finally inspired to finish something, getting to a point that has never happened before. If you can walk away and feel similarly inspired, then we've accomplished something."

 Director Bill Watterson, Co-Writer Steven Sears, and Producer John Charles Meyer

Thanks to John's work and the dedication of the entire team of artists, we can now be inspired this outrageous story. Dave Made a Maze plays at the Globe Cinema on Saturday April 22nd at 9:00 pm and Sunday, April 23rd at 9:45 pm and John himself will be in attendance. You can learn more about the movie by reading my capsule review, and you can buy tickets here.

Early Breaks and 'Regulate': A Conversation with G-Funk Director Karam Gill

This interview is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.

Karam Gill is the director of the SXSW documentary G-Funk. The film's a laid back and enjoyable chronicle of the early days of West Coast hip-hop, featuring and produced by some of the genre's most famous luminaries. The story revolves around the the career of Warren G., who was there at the beginning of the rise of the influential sub-genre. The film will have its international premier this week at the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, so to learn more about the creation of this documentary, I reached out by phone to Karam. Here are six insights from that conversation.

Director Karam Gill .

 1. Karam was remarkably young when this opportunity fell into his lap.

Karam just turned 23 on April 8th. He began his career playing college soccer before tearing his knee. "My buddy was like "hey dude, you need to stop [playing] and get your life together again."" This friend was an artist working his way up and told Karam he was opening for Warren G at a small venue. This friend had "always known that I shot photos and videos and said, "If you want to come shoot photos, I'll get you backstage." Karam agreed to give it a shot and while backstage he bumped into Warren G. "I had the camera around my neck and he was like "what do you do?" I was like "I shoot photos and video, can I shoot your show?" He said "yeah," so I shot a bunch of videos and used them to cut up this little promo video." Karam sent this video to Warren the next day and the rapper responded. "He's like, "Wow man, this is awesome. Can you do this for me all the time?" So over the next few months I ended up becoming his creative director, handling a lot of his branding content, as well as helping design album covers, doing everything for his brand, and flying to New York with him." 

2. Other filmmakers wanted to tell this story, but Warren G. said no.

Warren's wanted to tell this story for a long time, but he was never satisfied with the creative visions proposed to him. "He told me there were so many people out there who wanted to shape it a certain way, or create... all these controversies in Warren's personal life that just weren't there." Karam on the other hand, first heard the story "while on these trips. We were around Snoop Dog and 50 Cent and all these huge artists. They would always have the utmost respect for Warren. I would always hear these little stories and anecdotes of their lives." Six or seven months in, Karam confronted Warren. "I was like, "Hey, you have the most incredible story... and nobody knows what you went through. So I'm going to write your life story." It took almost two years, but Karam eventually presented the script to Warren with a mandate. "We need to make this into a movie."

3. Another reason this took so long was Warren G.'s humble personality.

There have been many other hip-hop documentaries, but Warren's "never pushed to make this happen. He's just been like, "Yeah, it could happen." He's just a very, very down to earth, mellow dude. He'll be never be flexing his ego. I've learned a lot from him about how to be in the entertainment world." Unlike the other filmmakers, Karam wanted it to be organic. "It's all about staying true to what the story actually is. I didn't want to force anything; it's an interesting enough story without me forcefully making stuff up."

Karam and Warren discussing their new film. 

 4. Warren distanced himself from the production.

Since Warren G. is listed as the film's producer, I wondered if his involvement influenced the story that was told. But Karam told me it exactly the opposite. "His role was [primarily] to set up the interviews. He was able to make a call to Snoop and say, "Hey, I need you to be here, at this time" and [Snoop will say], "No problem!" Or he can tell Russel Simmons, or Dion Sanders to do the interview and they would do it. That was his role because they have respect for him." But Warren purposefully distanced himself from the interviews and the majority of the editing sessions. "He wanted the story to emerge without him being there over everyone's shoulder, pressuring everyone to say something."

5. Telling the story took a crazy amount of preparation.

The story was "very, very mapped out. I had these two big six-foot cork boards where I mapped out every single story beat and what we needed to get that story across." This made interviewing these infamous rappers much less stressful. "We were prepared, knowing exactly where I wanted them to fit into the story" which allowed the celebrities to "give us enough time to ask the questions." As a result, Karam was able to relax in front of these hip-hop super stars. "When they were getting their makeup done, or while the lighting is being set, it was cool to just sit and talk with them, and see who these people really are." At one point, Karam was interviewing Ice-T in the rapper's house in Arizona "and we ended up talking to him for about 45 minutes about life and how traveling is so important. Just all these random things. I'm sitting there and half-way through [I realize], "Wow, I'm really talking to Ice-T about this obscure subject!""

Karam and his debut feature film. 

 6. Despite his early start in the industry, Karam still wishes he had entered sooner.

His advice to other want-to-be creatives is "start sooner. With these things you gotta just go and do it. A lot of people psych themselves out and they are like "this might not happen, and that might not happen." You are your own road block. There's no reason for not going for it right away. Just go ahead and do it."

Thanks to Karam's work and Warren's incredible story, we can now enjoy this triumphant documentary. It plays at the Globe Cinema on Friday, April 21st at 7:15 p.m. and Karam himself will be in attendance. You can learn more about the movie by reading my full review, and you can buy tickets here.

Capsule Reviews for CUFF: 78/52, Dave Made a Maze, and Tony Conrad: Completely in the Present

These capsule reviews are part of an ongoing series covering films  appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.

78/52

The infamous shower scene in Hitchcock's Psycho shocks every viewer, but it also shook up the filmmaking industry. 78/52 (referring to the number of set-ups and cuts) analyses this scene. It features interviews with 40 accomplished filmmakers and actors genuinely fascinated by this iconic moment to which their own careers are indebted to. This documentary is utterly engrossing and surprisingly elegant, thanks to being almost entirely shot in black and white and a haunting string score. Go see it, but I would recommend catching up on, and preferably rewatching Physco before coming.

78/52 is playing on Thursday, April 20th at 9:15 p.m. Tickets are available here.

Dave Made a Maze

Utterly engrossing, Dave Made a Maze is the story of a frustrated creative who spends a weekend making a cardboard maze in his apartment. The maze takes on a life of its own, forcing his wife and a group of friends make their perilous way through its booby traps and monsters in an attempted rescue. The maze itself is the star attraction, featuring a set design more delightfully inventive and wildly creative then anything in memory. The story struggles to be as imaginative, but is unexpectedly sincere and works as an examination of the pitfalls of the creative life. This film is great fun and deserves to be seen.

Dave Made a Maze is playing on Saturday, April 22nd at 9:00 p.m, and Sunday, April 23rd at 9:45 p.m. Tickets are available here.

Tony Conrad: Completely in the Present

Minimalism is a genre I've always scoffed at and have pictured its creators as dour and serious. Tony Conrad's impact on the art world is immeasurable, with his intertwining careers as musician, filmmaker, and teacher. While Tony Conrad: Completely in the Present analysis these roles and how his work in each shock up the art community, what emerges is a warm portrait of the man himself. Tony is larger than life, filled with vigour, and in love with any opportunity to bash open the establishment. Like his drone music, this film is at times dreary and tough to endure, but the longer I sat with it the more layers opened up. His art may be uncomfortable, yet spending time in his company is refreshing.

Tony Conrad: Completely in the Present is playing on Sunday, April 23rd at 9:15 p.m. Tickets are available here.

Oh, the Horror!: Assumptions Season One, Episode 3

Daniel argues that many horror films deal blatantly with the existence of evil and often have strong religious themes. So why are they so popular amongst our secular culture? And why do most evangelical Christians avoid them like a curse of Satan? Does Kyle even believe in ghosts? 

Daniel argues that many horror films deal blatantly with the existence of evil and often have strong religious themes. So why are they so popular amongst our secular culture? And why do most evangelical Christians avoid them like a curse of Satan? Does Kyle believe in ghosts anyways?   Links to Media Discussed: The 1990 TV mini-series It (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099864/) and the original 1986 horror novel by Stephen King (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_(novel)). The 1960 film Psycho (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054215/), directed by Alfred Hitchcock. The poem that Kyle struggled to remember was "The Charge of the Light Brigade" (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charge_of_the_Light_Brigade) by Lord Alfred Tennyson. The character "Leatherface" from the 1974 film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/), directed by Tobe Hooper. The film 2014 It Follows (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3235888/), directed by David Robert Mitchell. The 2016 film The Witch (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4263482/), directed by Robert Eggert. Kyle mentions Book of Thoth (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Thoth), an ancient Egyptian text of magic spells. The 1974 film The Exorcist (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070047/), directed by William Friedkin. The 1984 film A Nightmare on Elm Street (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087800/), directed by Wes Craven (who graduated from the prestigious Evangelical school Wheaton College). The TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118276/), which ran from 1997-2003 and was created by Joss Whedon. We discuss the work of director Scott Derrikson (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0220600/), who directed the horror films The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005), Sinister (2012), and Deliver Us from Evil (2014), along with the recent Marvel film Doctor Strange (2016). He is a committed Christian (http://archives.relevantmagazine.com/culture/film/director-strange) and has frequently talked about why he thinks horror is the perfect genre for Christians (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/june-web-only/prayer-dark-mysticism-and-flannery-conversation-with-scott-.html). Daniel quoted from an interview with Christianity Today (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/augustweb-only/scottderrickson.html?start=1), which is behind a paywall. Here is the entire quote: "In my opinion, the horror genre is a perfect genre for Christians to be involved with. I think the more compelling question is, Why do so many Christians find it odd that a Christian would be working in this genre? To me, this genre deals more overtly with the supernatural than any other genre, it tackles issues of good and evil more than any other genre, it distinguishes and articulates the essence of good and evil better than any other genre, and my feeling is that a lot of Christians are wary of this genre simply because it's unpleasant. The genre is not about making you feel good, it is about making you face your fears. And in my experience, that's something that a lot of Christians don't want to do. To me, the horror genre is the genre of non-denial. It's about admitting that there is evil in the world, and recognizing that there is evil within us, and that we're not in control, and that the things that we are afraid of must be confronted in order for us to relinquish that fear. And I think that the horror genre serves a great purpose in bolstering our understanding of what is evil and therefore better defining what is good. And of course I'm talking about, really, the potential of the horror genre, because there are a lot of horror films that don't do these things. It is a genre that's full of exploitation, but the better films in the genre certainly accomplish, I think, very noble things." The book The Secular Age (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Secular_Age) by McGill philosopher Charles Taylor. The 1978 film Halloween (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077651/), directed by John Carpenter. Daniel briefly...

Links to Media Discussed:

The 1990 TV mini-series It and the original 1986 horror novel by Stephen King .

The 1960 film Psycho, directed by Alfred Hitchcock. 

The poem that Kyle struggled to remember was "The Charge of the Light Brigade"  by Lord Alfred Tennyson.

The character "Leatherface" from the 1974 film The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, directed by Tobe Hooper.

The film 2014 It Follows, directed by David Robert Mitchell.

The 2016 film The Witch, directed by Robert Eggert.

Kyle mentions Book of Thoth, an ancient Egyptian text of magic spells. 

The 1974 film The Exorcist, directed by William Friedkin.

The 1984 film A Nightmare on Elm Street, directed by Wes Craven (who graduated from the prestigious Evangelical school Wheaton College).

The TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which ran from 1997-2003 and was created by Joss Whedon.

We discuss the work of director Scott Derrikson, who directed the horror films The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005), Sinister (2012), and Deliver Us from Evil (2014), along with the recent Marvel film Doctor Strange (2016). He is a committed Christian and has frequently talked about why he thinks horror is the perfect genre for Christians. Daniel quoted from an interview with Christianity Today, which is behind a paywall. Here is the entire quote:

"In my opinion, the horror genre is a perfect genre for Christians to be involved with. I think the more compelling question is, Why do so many Christians find it odd that a Christian would be working in this genre? To me, this genre deals more overtly with the supernatural than any other genre, it tackles issues of good and evil more than any other genre, it distinguishes and articulates the essence of good and evil better than any other genre, and my feeling is that a lot of Christians are wary of this genre simply because it's unpleasant. The genre is not about making you feel good, it is about making you face your fears. And in my experience, that's something that a lot of Christians don't want to do.

To me, the horror genre is the genre of non-denial. It's about admitting that there is evil in the world, and recognizing that there is evil within us, and that we're not in control, and that the things that we are afraid of must be confronted in order for us to relinquish that fear. And I think that the horror genre serves a great purpose in bolstering our understanding of what is evil and therefore better defining what is good. And of course I'm talking about, really, the potential of the horror genre, because there are a lot of horror films that don't do these things. It is a genre that's full of exploitation, but the better films in the genre certainly accomplish, I think, very noble things."

The book The Secular Age by McGill philosopher Charles Taylor. 

The 1978 film Halloween, directed by John Carpenter.

Daniel briefly references the biblical figure of Lazarus, whom Jesus raises from the dead in the Gospel of John (chapter 11). 

The 2013 film Ida, directed by Pawel Pawlikowski. 

Further Reading: 

Vice.com published a piece last year called "Why Are So Many Films Christian Propaganda?". The author's perspective is antagonistic to the Christian faith and he cautions readers to be cautious watching horror flicks lest by so doing they promote Christian beliefs.

Film critic Josh Larson of Filmspotting argues "a Christian defence of horror" in this short piece.

Lauren Wilford has a long piece on how the director of The Witch is a master of his craft and why the movie works so well on its own, without the feminist and Satanist controversy.

Credits:

Assumptions is written and produced by Daniel Melvill Jones and Kyle Marshall.

This episode edited by Kyle Marshall.

Our soundtrack comes from The Parson Red Heads, who have a new album (Blurred Harmony) coming out on June 9th.

Podcast artwork designed by Chris Taniguchi 

Photography by Jen Hall

This episode's title was directly inspired by friend of the show Blake I. Collier's column at Reel World Theology (http://www.reelworldtheology.com/category/oh-the-horror/).

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, listen on Soundcloud, or look us up wherever you get your podcasts. 

Email feedback or questions at assumptionspod@gmail.com, or drop us a line on Facebook or Twitter. We'd love to hear what you have to say and hope to include it on future episodes. 

Don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts (that really helps us get the word out), and share and follow us on Facebook or Twitter.

Some Freaks (CUFF 2017)

Some Freaks is an astonishing debut that cuts deep, shattering open the misfits falling in love narrative to reveal a longing for human connection.

This review is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with www.danielmelvilljones.com.

There are countless films about high school outcasts who fall in love while maintaining their eccentric personalities. So when I saw that Some Freaks was pitched as the story of an awkward kid with an eye patch falling in love with an obese girl, I expected another variation of a familiar story. Instead, this debut film from director Ian MacAllister McDonald captivated me with its compelling storytelling before slaying me with the deep human ache it so bravely unravels. This is a movie about loneliness, the longing to be known, and the deep uncertainty at the core of such attempts. Some Freaks is not about about surviving high school; it's about surviving life.

Matt is an earnest young man hiding behind the shame of an eye patch. At first we're not sure why he wears it, or even if he even needs to. But we do know that this peculiarity marks him as a target by his classmates, and that he is treated as an outcast by their whispered teasing and attempts to bully. The only other student who treats him as normal is Elmo, who drags Matt to Elmo's upscale home, while incessantly chattering about video game technology and his desire to make out with a gangly boy on the basketball team. We get the feeling that Matt is glad for Elmo's hospitality but that the friendship doesn't have the spark of connection that Matt is searching for. When Matt meets Elmo's cousin, the vivacious, overweight, and similarly teased Jill, he finds that companionship he was searching for. The film follows the progression and eventual fate of that relationship, before expanding its narrative to include all three characters' quest for acceptance.

Some Freaks engages us immediately through its unusually long and narrow aspect ratio, and an intimate camera style that frequently follows characters by hovering right behind their heads, plunging us into their stories. The acting is remarkable - nuanced and completely believable. The story shakes up the common conventions by regularly jumping across time. At first, these jumps are multiple weeks but the final jump extended to six months. These leaps allow the film to go beyond just a high school romance, exploring the effects of this desire as the characters leave the classroom and enter the larger world. It's in this final, surprising third act, when the narrative follows each character individually, that the movie transforms from a relationship drama to a mediation on our desperate need for connection.

Sex permeates Some Freaks. It's the subject of the jokes in the school hallways, the longing of Nemo, the goal of Matt, and a badge of honour for their handsome peers. In the hands of some it is a powerful weapon, for others a token prize to be offered upon completion. But in this movie sex is never about the service level of physical pleasure. Instead it becomes a longing for intimacy and connection, a bond of understanding and love between your lonely self and another human being. It's a sign to yourself and the world that you've made it; that you and all your strangeness are, in fact, of value to someone else. All three of the characters live outside the norms of society: Elmo with his sexuality, Jill in her body weight, and Matt with his strange eye. In the climax, each of these characters tries to prove, or shed, or celebrate this strangeness with the world. Each fails miserably.

"It finally feels like I'm not alone in this world," Matt confesses during the joyful high of the romance, a feeling so fleeting to him and his friends. To be regulated as alone and an outsider is the deep fear and default position of everyone in this film. Some Freaks conveys this heartache sensitively, yet with cutting precision. Immediately after watching, I was overcome with loneliness. On instinct and without thinking about it, I picked up my phone and FaceTimed a best friend, acting out of a sort of desperation. Such is the power of Some Freaks, a truly impressive debut that will linger, like its closing shot, long after viewing.

Some Freaks is playing as part of the 14th Calgary Underground Film Festival at the Globe Theatre on Tuesday, April 18th at 9:15 p.m. Tickets are available here.  

Your Guide to the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival

The Fourteenth Calgary Underground Film Festival arrives early next week. With 35 films and  events, including documentaries, horror, indie, and local movies it can be tough for the casual film buff and the dedicated film nerd to choose which screenings to attend. I'm covering the festival, so I've been sent a half dozen advanced screeners and have scoured letterbox.com and IMDB to learn about the rest. I now offer you my guide to the festival, including films I've seen and film's I'm excited to attend. (This guide will be update as more reviews appear.)

78/52 is an elegant and engrossing analysis of Psycho's infamous shower sequence. It features countless Hollywood luminaries geeking out over the scene that shook up their world. Be sure to watch, and hopefully rewatch, the Hitchcock original before attending Thursday, April 20th at 9:15 p.m.

Alipato: The Very Brief Life of an Ember was noted by CUFF programmer, Cameron Macgowan, as a "must see", describing it as "off the rails." I'll be skipping this violent Filipino science fiction, but if you're braver then me, catch it on Tuesday, April 18th at 9:45 PM

Band Aid This Sundance pick is described as a slightly more cynical, American version of ONCE, featuring a couple who turn their repeated arguments into songs. I'm a sucker for both stories about music and anything featuring Fred Armisen, so expect me to be there early on Saturday, April 22nd at 7:00 p.m.

Colossal is making appearances throughout the major film cities in the States and is getting a lot of buzz for the creative way it uses the monster genre to hijack an angsty romance. Starring Anne Hathaway and Jason Sedeikis, it got a rave review from the NYT's A. O. Scott, so I'll be there on Wednesday, April 19th at 9:30 p.m.

A Dark Song, a creepy occult thriller from Ireland, is being heralded as this year's prestige horror, in the tradition of THE WITCH, IT FOLLOWS, and THE BABADOOK. Which mean's I'm super interested but certainly won't be there unless you are coming to hold my hand. Thursday, April 20th at 11:45 PM and Sunday, April 23rd at 2:15pm

Dave Made a Maze is your average story about a frustrated creative who builds a giant maze in his leaving room that comes alive and takes on a life of it's own. This is a ton of fun to watch and features some of the most truly inventive set design we'll see in a long time. Saturday April 22nd at 9:00 p.m. and Sunday, April 23rd at 9:45 p.m.

David Lynch: The Art Life Of the four documentaries from CUFF I've been able to see, this is the one that took the documentary genre and transformed it into a work of haunting, personal art. I can't get it out of my head, even though I had (ashamedly) not seen a single David Lynch film prior to watching it. Read my review and then please go see it when it plays on Saturday, April 22nd at 4:00 p.m.

Free Fire has received endless buzz as its progressed it's way through the festival circuit. Now Calgary gets the chance to see this whip-smart action film before what's left of the world gets access. I can't wait. Tuesday, April 18th at 7:30 p.m.

G-Funk If you're like me, you love contemporary hip-hop but have no idea about the generation that started it. As I wrote in my review, this documentary about the influential west-coast subgenre is a funky, fun ride - if a tad too influenced by its subjects. I recommend going if you're a huge hip-hop fan. Friday, April 21st at 7:15 p.m.

Hounds of Love My colleague at Reel World Theology, Joshua Crabb, reviewed this tense captivity thriller for me and described it as "awful in a brutal, terrifying way. It's thrilling but also difficult to watch. It's a very good, if not great, movie." Expect his full review this weekend, and see it on Wednesday, April 19th at 9:45 p.m.

The Little Hours, a raunchy, anachronistic comedy set in a medieval covent. I love irrelevant Monty Python humour, but early reviews for this one are mixed. Still, CUFF chose it to open the festival and tickets are almost entirely gone, so it's apparently popular. Monday, April 17th at 7:00pm

My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea features creatively compelling animation and a bold story, but the dark violence directed at students left a bad taste in my mouth. My full review can be found here, but note that I'm in the minority on this one.Tuesday, April 18th at 7:00 p.m. and Sunday, April 23rd at 11:00 a.m.

Some Freaks is a astonishing debut film; a raw, intimate portrayal of our search for intimacy in an unusual high school drama. Don't miss this one, as I expect we will be taking about it all year. Tuesday, April 18th, 9:15pm

Tony Conrad: Completely in the Present is another documentary about an artist at work. Although Tony's personality is engaging and contagious, yet when compared with the festival's superior and similarly titled DAVID LYNCH: THE ART LIFE, this feels like just another documentary. Sunday, April 23rd at 9:15 p.m.

The Untamed is Cameron McGrogen top pick for the festivals, a "beautifully grotesque film somehow manages to find the perfect balance between pulling at your heart strings and creeping you out big time." It sounds uncommonly nasty at times, so I'll be staying home. But you can see it on Friday, April 21 at 9:15 p.m. and Sunday, April 23rd at 1:30 p.m.

Special thanks to Brenda Lieberman, Cole Binder, and most of all Laura Carlson for their generous support in getting me access to these films. The festival is presenting us a feast of possibilities this year, so I hope you make your way out to be provoked, surprised, and moved by these moving pictures.

My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea (CUFF 2017)

While featuring bold style choices and exceptionally creative animation, the increasingly dark violence directed at students spoiled My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea.

This review is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.

Some films are effortless in combining creative visuals with compelling storytelling. In the nerdy high school subgenre, Wes Anderson's Rushmore looms large; successful in both style and heart. My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea is clear in its debt to that modern classic. This new movie is another visually unique high school drama featuring a nerdy kid voiced by Jason Schwartzman that ends in a dance party. Directed by graphic novelist Dash Shaw and also featuring the voice talents of Lena Dunman and Reggie Watts, it's an animated film is set in a high school perched on the edge of a sea cliff. A writer for the school paper and his off-beat friends uncover corruption and attempt to alert their school to the imminent danger. Until, as the title promises, the school collapses and the group attempts to make their way up floor after dangerous floor to safety.

The concept is unique, yet where the filmmakers really shine is in their endlessly inventive animation. While the characters, who move like gifs, are fairly traditionally drawn, the backgrounds and textures constantly surprise. A school bus moving down the highway suddenly transforms into a cross section of its passengers and mechanics. A student's flashback to a camping trip shows teenagers hiking across the pages of a field guide. The classrooms are painted with colourful abstract brushstrokes, the paint dripping as the building tips. Underwater scenes are overlaid with textures of bubbles, or oil and water patterns like school art projects. A character's lungs struggling for oxygen appear like a page from an Eric Carle picture book. This is beautiful and thoughtful work.

The dialogue and plot are often witty, but the enjoyment of the story began to spoil as the situation in the school got worse and the body count began to rise. Dark comedy can be effective if it's used sparsely (think of the fate of Jeff Goldbloom's cat in The Grand Budapest Hotel), or done with the right attitude (like the violence in Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy). Yet as classroom upon classroom of kids are slaughtered by sharks, crushed by bleachers, or burnt in fires, it became harder to laugh along. A senior floor of a school devolving into a cult could be an effective analogy of high school politics, but world footage of death and terror in school halls are too fresh in our memory for the humour to work. This violence, along with some distasteful characters, distracted the movie's attempts to tackle loneliness, grief, and learning to understand those who are different from you.

Bold innovation is a good thing, and it was a bold decision to push the envelope as the filmmakers did. This movie is a smash up of the school drama, art animation, and grisly disaster genres. As this disaster element conquered the flavour of the film, one became increasingly weary of the bloodshed and ready to leave the company of these sad characters. My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea is rich in beauty and imagination. Instead of becoming something great, it merely stumbles through a conglomeration of ideas. The result is a film that embraces the best and the worst of the underground movie scene: an art house flick that feels like an experiment. If anything, it shows how extraordinary it is when films with this level of invention  succeed in telling affecting stories.

My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea is playing as part of the 14th Calgary Underground Film Festival at the Globe Theatre on Tuesday, April 18th at 7:00 p.m. and on Sunday, April 23rd at 11:00 a.m. Tickets are available here. 

The Stories that Shape Us: Assumptions Season One, Episode 2

We continue our conversation into our second episode. Kyle's favourite movie of all time is Jaws, which Daniel has never seen. We sit down to watch it and then ask: why does this movie speak so deeply to Kyle? We also talk about Daniel's favourite movie, Moonrise Kingdom and examine why these different stories mean so much to us and what that says about our worldviews.

Kyle's favourite movie of all time is Jaws, which Daniel has never seen. We sit down to watch it and then ask: why does this movie speak so deeply to Kyle? We also talk about Daniel's favourite movie, Moonrise Kingdom and examine why these different stories mean so much to us and what they say about our worldviews. On this episode, the following media is mentioned or discussed:  The 1975 film Jaws (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/), directed by Stephen Spielberg.  The 2012 film Moonrise Kingdom (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1748122/), directed by Wes Anderson. The 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0038650/), directed by Frank Capra.   The Dorothy Sayers detective novel The Nine Tailors (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nine_Tailors), which includes a climatic scene where the village, complete with animals, takes shelter from the rising flood in the village church, a Noah's Ark type imagery that is echoed in Moonrise Kingdom. The 2001 film The Royal Tenenbaums (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0265666/), also directed by Wes Anderson. Daniel's favourite essay on Wes Anderson is by the Jewish author Michael Chabon. It appeared in the New York Review of Books and is titled "Wes Anderson's Worlds". Daniel loves this piece so much he would frame it if he could. (http://www.nybooks.com/daily/2013/01/31/wes-anderson-worlds/) Daniel's favourite essay on Moonrise Kingdom is written by his friend Jeffrey Overstreet and is titled "Moonrise Kingdom and the Divine Symphony". Daniel remembers getting shivers down his spine while reading this piece aloud to his best friend as they drove home after watching Moonrise Kingdom for the first time. Daniel's interpretation of the film is still largely based off this piece. (http://www.patheos.com/blogs/goodletters/2012/07/moonrise-kingdom-and-the-divine-symphony/) Daniel and Kyle's favourite film critic, Roger Ebert's wrote an essay on Jaws, which comes from his legendary "Great Movies" series. (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-jaws-1975)   Assumptions is written and produced by Daniel Melvill Jones and Kyle Marshall. This episode edited by Kyle Marshall. Our soundtrack comes from The Parson Red Heads Podcast artwork designed by Chris Taniguchi  Photography by Jen Hall Feedback or questions can be sent to asssumptionspod@gmail.com, or by contacting us on Facebook or Twitter.

On this episode, the following media is mentioned or discussed: 

The 1975 film Jaws, directed by Stephen Spielberg. 

The 2012 film Moonrise Kingdom, directed by Wes Anderson.

The 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life, directed by Frank Capra.  

The Dorothy Sayers detective novel The Nine Tailors, which includes a climatic scene where the village, complete with animals, takes shelter from the rising flood in the village church, a Noah's Ark type imagery that is echoed in Moonrise Kingdom.

The 2001 film The Royal Tenenbaums, also directed by Wes Anderson.

Daniel's favourite essay on Wes Anderson is by the Jewish author Michael Chabon. It appeared in the New York Review of Books and is titled "Wes Anderson's Worlds". Daniel loves this piece so much he would frame it if he could. 

Daniel's favourite essay on Moonrise Kingdom is written by his friend Jeffrey Overstreet and is titled "Moonrise Kingdom and the Divine Symphony". Daniel remembers getting shivers down his spine while reading this piece aloud to his best friend as they drove home after watching Moonrise Kingdom for the first time. Daniel's interpretation of the film is still largely based off this piece. 

Daniel and Kyle's favourite film critic, Roger Ebert's wrote an essay on Jaws, which comes from his legendary "Great Movies" series. 

Assumptions is written and produced by Daniel Melvill Jones and Kyle Marshall.

This episode edited by Kyle Marshall.

Our soundtrack comes from The Parson Red Heads, who have a new album (Blurred Harmony) coming out on June 9th.

Podcast artwork designed by Chris Taniguchi 

Photography by Jen Hall

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, listen on Soundcloud, or look us up wherever you get your podcasts. 

Email feedback or questions at assumptionspod@gmail.com, or drop us a line on Facebook or Twitter. We'd love to hear what you have to say and might include it on future episodes. 

Don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts (that has a huge impact in getting the word out), and share and follow us on Facebook or Twitter.

G-Funk (CUFF 2017)

 G-Funk is a laid-back and enjoyable chronicle of the early days of West Coast hip-hop, featuring and produced by some of the genre's most famous luminaries. 

This review is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.  

I'm a young white guy from Canada and I've fallen in love with hip-hop. And I'm not alone in my generation in eagerly awaiting the new Kendrick album, or keenly listening to Chance the Rapper, or strangely mesmerised by the latest antics of Kanye. But because I'm a recent convert to the genre, my understanding of how this art form got here is scant, relying on occasional dips into the back catalogues of A Tribe Called Quest and Outkast. A film like G-Funk serves a needed role in introducing me to its history. It's a sunny documentary traces hip-hop's influential sub-genre of g-funk through the story of three key members: Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, and Warren G.

The film tells the story of the trio's early days when they called themselves 213, their collaboration with Dr. Dre on his legendary albums, and the subsequent success of the now infamous Snoop Dogg. It traces how some of these members were picked up by Dre's label while others were abandoned, and the resulting East Coast vs West Coast battle. The documentary refuses to focus on just the rapping, delving in to other aspects of hip-hop culture; how the music reflects the vibe of the local culture; the importance of the collaboration between the producer, the emcee, and his label mates; and the sometimes messy impact of doing business amongst a close-knit group of friends.

This story is told primarily through engrossing interviews with an impressive roster of west coast hip-hop alumni, including rappers, producers, and label heads. It is supplemented with photos, footage, and clips from music videos, and is, of course, soaked through with the music itself. The movie's tone is largely celebratory. It takes brief forays into the tragedies and disappointments that inevitably make their appearance, including Warren G's abandonment by the label, the violence that killed Notorious B.I.G, and the racial discrimination that is a backdrop to much of the genre. But it doesn't dwell on these themes for long, returning always to triumph in the groovy beats that form the foundation of its namesake.

G-Funk was written and produced by Warren G, who's also one of the primary interview subjects and whose story features predominantly in its narrative. I wonder if such close involvement influenced the self-congratulatory tone of the film, represented by footage of a reunion concert he and several of the other rappers give. Still, this movie is as laid-back and enjoyable as the funky beats of the music it describes. Listening to their story is like eavesdropping on a bunch of uncles and older cousins who are way cooler than you. We listen in as they reminisce with joy over the world they created, a world you are now living amongst and take so often for granted.

G-Funk is playing as part of the 14th Calgary Underground Film Festival at the Globe Theatre on Friday, April 21st at 7:15 p.m. Tickets are available here.   

David Lynch: The Art Life (CUFF 2017)

David Lynch: The Art Life is an engrossing and richly textured mediation on the correlation between one's life and one's art, with much to offer both fans and strangers of the director's work.

 This review is part of an ongoing series covering films appearing in the 2017 Calgary Underground Film Festival, published simultaneously with Reel World Theology.

The older man with white tousled hair and a crease-lined face sits in an old sofa in the midst of a studio lined with construction supplies. At times he ruminates, shrouded by the smoke of his cigarette, his sharp blue eyes full of memories. Or he ponders the large unfinished canvas at the other end of the room. Such strange canvases! The art is textured and grotesque, often featuring solitary panicked figures inhabiting dark and haunting landscapes, surrounded by insects with distorted anatomy, or desperate phrases scrawled on the sideline. It's both repulsive and fascinating. With the camera fixing it before our vision, we are forced to wonder: who is exactly is this man and what experiences have birthed such work?

The man is David Lynch, legendary director of modern classics like Eraserhead, The Elephant Man, Mulholland Dr., and Twin Peaks. Before he was a cult filmmaker, Lynch studied to be a visual artist and has continued to paint ever since. This movie, David Lynch: The Art Life, is the story of his childhood and pre-filmmaking years as a visual artist. It consists of the artist describing his memories and the camera showing him at work. The director is an engrossing narrator, recounting an all American childhood with dark, strange details, such as sitting all day in a mud pool and loving the ickyness of it, or that night at dusk when a naked woman with blood on her mouth roamed the neighbourhood. His story continues through his teenage years - falling in with bad characters before he becoming obsessed with art - through to his art student days, where he secluded himself in an apartment all day experimenting with decaying animals and experienced the harsh neighbourhood of Pittsburg with its crazed strangers.

During this narration, we are shown the present day Lynch in his studio, at work transferring more unsettling imagery from his mind to the canvas. This is interspersed with archival footage from his childhood, and image after image of the art itself. The film is wise to limit us to just this and nothing else. There is no need to recreate the memories or stuff the screen with the voices of others. There is just David Lynch; David Lynch reminiscing, David Lynch painting, and David Lynch's art. All this is more then enough and it allows the viewer to ponder the connections between the man's experiences and the strange canvases that result. The camera is confined to the spaces of his studio and the rugged face of its inhibitor. There is no need to go any further; there are worlds enough here.

The narrative of David Lynch: The Art Life ends when the primary output of David Lynch became moving pictures. In the film, Lynch describes how he begin work on his first movie, but beyond that, none of his other output is mentioned. This allows fans of his work to make their own connections between the art life and the film making. It also allows viewers unfamiliar with his career to enjoy the documentary simply as a meditation on the connection between a man's life and his creative output. The result is a documentary rich with material to explore that lingers beyond one viewing.

Personally, as I watched it I was struck by the darkly absurd flavour that marked the details of Lynch's life and the art he produced. This felt unsettling to be amongst, like living in a muffled cry of desperation. They say it's the artists who notice details that the rest of us pass by. Throughout the film Lynch drops hints of these insights, of his fascination with the humans that he encounters in his life. Is the dark surrealism of his work a reflection of Lynch's worldview or is it an aspect of life that I am simply unaware of? Through his career as a filmmaker we have been given access to this vision, and now in David Lynch: The Art Life we get a privileged look at the man who created this.

David Lynch: The Art Life is playing as part of the 14th Calgary Underground Film Festival at the Globe Theatre on Saturday, April 22nd at 3:45pm. Tickets are available here.  

Toni Erdmann

The problem with assigning films for yourself to review is that you have to write about them even if you aren't the biggest fan. That happened last week when I agreed to cover the highly acclaimed German film Toni Erdmann. As usually happens when you force yourself to write, my feelings on it clarified and now you can read about them, if you're so inclined.​

"Toni Erdmann is about the lengths one might go to pursue someone and the ways we mask such a longing for connection under a facade of professional ambition. It’s about the clash that can occur when an eccentric personality plants himself in the company of a formal society. And it’s a nearly three hour German film with an oddly surrealist flavour."​

Paterson

Last week I finally got the chance to see Jim Jarmusch's film Paterson. I loved watching it and it was the movie that I most enjoyed writing about so far this year. I'm pretty happy with the essay. 

This film is about the details of a routine and how the poet notices them and works them into his imagination. It's about the settled routine of a peaceful life and the significance of this routine's variations. It's also about the people in these routines - the strangers we serve through our jobs, the neighbours we bump into and interact with, and the quirks of those with whom we choose to live our lives. It's a gentle, warm hearted wonder of a film, carefully crafted to include incidents that work on multiple levels.

 Head over to Reel World Theology to read the review. Then take the time to seek out the film. It will be well worth your time. 

My First Screener and The Resurrection of Gavin Stone (2017)

In past years I've been so immersed in the independent and prestige film scene, I almost forgot about the strange world of Christian film I grew up around.  I was quite content forgetting, until I got an email inviting me to watch and review the WWE Studios film The Resurrection of Gavin Stone. The film was billed as "a lighthearted, family-friendly Christian comedy" which is exactly not how I wanted to spent 90 minutes of my life. 

After much discussion with my fellow film reviewing friends, where we debated the merits of wasting precious time versus accepting my first screening, I decided that taking the assignment could be way to strengthen my writing and discernment skills. And to jinx my career as a critic by turning down my first screener invite just felt wrong.

Watching a yet-to-be-released film on my iPad in my bedroom via a private screening link was a pretty neat feeling. If only I could access films like Paterson or The Red Turtle this way! One can only dream... But The Resurrection of Gavin Stone was actually entertaining. But it was also flawed, revealing a sad and dangerous picture of church life and what it means to be a Christian. It was a great exercise to think through what it was trying to say. To read more about that, head over to my review at Reel World Theology. 

Let me know what you think! And if you know anyone looking to screen some indie or prestige films, you know where to find me....

Public and Private Grief in Jackie (2016)

Director Pablo Larraín’s new film exploring that infamous week of Jackie Kennedy's life is a highly unusual biopic.  It uses a variety of film stock, shooting styles, and moods to peel away the various images that Jackie created for herself to reach her inner life. It's also a profound film about grief and features a truly remarkable performance by Natalie Portman. 

I caught the film last week and reviewed it for Reel World Theology. I'm really happy with the review and I hope you take the time to read it and to watch this fine movie. 

Le Innocents (2016) and an Unusual Community

I miss reviewing films. I miss taking the time to understand what I have just seen by wrestling with it through words. I don't want to simply consume media - I want to engage in it.  

So in 2017, expect to see more film reviews arrive at this space. I've partnered with my friends at Reel World Theology and my first review for them this year is up already on their website. It's for the French-Polish film "Le Innocents." 

The movies follows the strange, true story of a group of nuns in Poland who were raped during and immediately after the Second World War and who are now pregnant. Unlike recent films about monasteries, like the excellent "Ida" and "Of Gods and Men", the main character in this film is not a member of the nunnery, but a young atheist doctor. Her journey into the religious community and how this affect both her and the believers she has to work with has profound implications for how Christians like myself are to interact with those whom we get to know from the outside. 

In my review I tried to pull out some of these themes. Head over to Reel World Theology to read the whole thing. I definitely recommend watching this beautiful film and would love to hear your thoughts on how it might impact our communities.

Finding Courage through Finding Dory: Pixar and My Mental Health

​For a year and a half I've struggled to understand my mental health disability. This weekend I saw a children's film, starring colorful cartoon fish, that confronted exactly what I've had to learn. Finding Dory, which just debuted to the most successful animated opening in history, is focused on a character with a mental disability and how she perseveres through it.

There is lots to love about the film. I enjoyed the relentless creativity that seemed to find its focus when the filmmakers limited themselves to the confines of the Marine Life Institute. The new characters, all with physical or attitude issues, were a constant delight. I admired how it emphasized that both family and close friendships play unique roles in life. But what captivated me was how the story of Dory's memory loss related to my own life.

The film opens on the teeny, adorable, blue blob that is young Dory repeating after her parents, "Hello, my name is Dory and I suffer from short term memory loss." Right from the beginning of both the film and Dory's life, there is a naive acceptance of her disability. Dory will struggle with this for the rest of her life and her parents are preparing her early in how to deal with it.

Dory's task, and the basic story of the film, is to locate her parents;n first within the wide ocean and then within the endless aquariums of the Marine Life Institute. It's a tall order by itself, but with the added complications of her condition, it seems insurmountable.

Seven years ago, the time came for me to learn how to drive. I took the most comprehensive driving course my parent's could find. I practiced and practiced. But I didn't pass. I still don't have my license.

Driving our family Sienna down country roads was easy enough, even enjoyable. But when I arrived at differing intersections, or engaged in complicated lane changes, or tackled at the tight maneuvering of parking, it got dangerous. I recall two separate incidents were I would have had an accident or even been killed, had my co-driver not yelled at me to stop. My brain flips the intersections around. I yield when turning left at a red light because that's what you do when you have to turn right. Or I stop but not look when crossing a highway. It's like there is a blank space in my brain that appears only 10% of the time. It takes over when I least expect it.

It wasn't until I received a formal diagnoses of my disabilities that it became clear why I was struggling so much. I was not just stupid. I was not just lazy. (Although my truck-driving uncles insisted otherwise.) I had a documented problem that was known to effect exactly this skill. So I accepted the frustrations of not being able to drive. I relinquished control and was at peace with the situation.

Just last month, after a year and a half of waiting, I made the decision to master these weaknesses and learn how to drive. The time had come. I was ready. But when I started doing research into how my disorder affects drivers, I panicked. I was confronted again by the reasons for my lack of a license. I wanted to give up.

In the film, Dory is confronted by impossibilities again and again. And she keeps swimming. She acknowledges her limitations, her weaknesses, and her problems. She knows she will need help to get around them. She's humble about this. She's honest, even to strangers. But she does not give up. Because she knows that finding her parents matters. This battle is worth fighting for, right to the very end. Watching her determination renewed my own efforts to learn how to drive.

At one point in the story, young Dory wakes from sleep to her mother sobbing as her father attempts to comfort her. They agonize over her condition. Is it their fault? Will their daughter survive? Have they failed as parents? Dory offers a heartfelt apology to her parents for her condition. Her parents offer their unconditional love and insist this is not her fault. Watching these cartoon fish cry over memory loss reminded me of the heartbreak my parents have gone through wrestling with these very questions.

But the film emphasizes another point, one that has taken me years to learn. Dory requires her friend Marvin's analytical brain to support her. But Dory's unusual, and very different personality is absolutely necessary for the success of her quest. Her out-of-the-box thinking, unique handling of prickly personalities, and enthusiastic outlook seem crazy and often on the verge of falling apart. But in the end, she is a gift to those around her.

It took me 6 months of fighting my disability through medication before I realized that my personality has both strengths and weaknesses*. I was created this way by God and while it will take a lot of work and understanding for me to work well within it, there is also much to enjoy about it. My uniqueness is a gift. It will have consequences both positive and negative. But I need to be quick to thank God for the way he has made me and relish the opportunities it provides.

The bright, jolly cartoon characters of Finding Nemo have been part of our social fabric for 13 years. How brave of Pixar to tackle dealing with disabilities in its long-awaited sequel. What a sign of their artistic integrity to do so in a story that's ultimately joyous, imaginative, and engaging.

*I realize my situation is as unique, just as everyone else's is. I've seen firsthand how medication can make an incredible impact on many people. I have also seen firsthand the pain and confusion it can cause. If you have friends or family on any kind of mental health medication, take the time to understand their needs before pronouncing your opinion. It requires much, much empathy, wisdom, and prayer to maneuver these situations.

Macbeth (2015)

​We humans are still finding unique and beautiful ways to make Shakespeare’s ancient text come alive. This delights me. So when it was announced that Australian director Justin Kurzel was working on a new film of Macbeth, starring two of today' greats - Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillar - I got excited. When the trailers debuted with their stunning imagery, the film was projected to the top of my must see list.

In fact, I was so thrilled watching a trailer, I took a bunch of screenshots and arranged them into this beautiful grid. I wanted to show the world how breathtaking these shorts were.

I had a lot of free time back when I was sick for a month and a half.

Only the film would not arrive in Calgary’s theatres. The December 4th date listed on IMDB came and went. As each week progressed, my hope to see this on the big screen fell a little lower, until I despaired and stopped checking for listings. It was then that my friend Kyle pointed out that it was showing in one of Calgary’s tiniest theatres.

So, I got to see the film. Then I reviewed it for Reel World Theology. It was a fun film to write about, and I hope you enjoy my review.